Old Photographs
Grandpa has Rocky on his neck.
Rocky on Dida’s lap.
Grandpa, Dida, and Mashi with Rocky.
Rocky. Rocky. Rocky.
Rocky’s age is increasing. Picture after picture. Year after year. Rocky became old.
Memories of Rocky
“Rocky died at how many years, Dida?”
“Twelve. Twelve plus. Last time his twelve-year birthday was. No one is here except me. Still — candlelight, cake, payesh, balloons. With him — Rocky. Look, look. Here, see.”
“For them one year means our seven. So Rocky had become elderly.”
“Do those things stay in the mind regarding relationships? … Look, you are nobody to me. Still you talk to me like this, you cook good and bad, you wash clothes in the auto washing machine and wring and dry them, then bring them up to the roof and warm them in the sun, Dida says you call me all the time — you pour the taste of granddaughter into my tongue with a spoon — then what arithmetic stays in the head?”
Stories in the News
“You know, Dida, these days what all news comes out in the papers — did you see?”
“No. I don’t see everything. I don’t have that much patience.”
“You know, an old woman had one son. They say he had a big job abroad. Lots of money, car, flat. So that son came and told his mother, why should you stay alone here? Come — we will all live in that country together. Sell the property and come. So all that happened. The mother’s heart felt bad. Also felt good. She will be with loved ones now. On the appointed day two of them went to the airport. They left Mother standing before entering the lounge and went inside to hear things. Time passed. Mother waited. She did things. The son did not come back.”
“Is this in the paper? I didn’t notice such news. Which date’s paper?”
“One doesn’t remember so much. But it has captured many people’s attention. It still goes from mouth to mouth. People keep dogs as a hobby. This pet is far better than people. It is not ungrateful.”
Rocky the Protector
“You know, this Rocky saved your Dadu twice in Assam. In tea gardens there are always snakes. In our quarter one day Rocky started shouting something. We ran and jumped and saw a cobra — can’t imagine. Another time, when your Dadu was returning from the garden office it was late. Suddenly the light went off. Rocky’s shouting, running like mad on the veranda and screaming. Security came. They thought it was load-shedding. Actually the militants had cut the wire. They were waiting for your Dadu. They would lift him up and demand ransom. Immediately the alarm. Security alert. The militants went away.”
Dark Headlines and Changing Times
“You know, in the Barrackpore area a grandson killed his old grandmother simply for money. No remorse. Such wickedness, many kinds of ill-intentioned girlfriends lured in — for money they kill a sweet relationship. Can you imagine?”
“Addiction these days even small boys and girls are doing. Birthday parties. Eating at clubs. Having fun. In the evening cake, lights. During break time boozing. Boys without moustaches sitting on swings in the housing compound openly pouring neat heart drinks into their throats. One day something like that happened… Father and mother are the same. Unfettered freedom. Pocket money whatever they want — without asking the reason, they give. What the children are doing, with whom they are mixing, the parents do not know. The teenage is a strange transit period. One needs guidance on how to face the whole life. Parents are only demand suppliers. There is no one in front to follow, so in this big emptiness parents themselves must hold hands in this up-and-down time.”
“Grandma, ahead there’s Google. All kinds of advertisements.”
“There are sound systems to stop hearts. High-speed bikes. If one doesn’t have, there is intolerance. Online is there. Night club is there. Mall. Resort. … Grandma, there are such mothers too, how many marriages, how many grooms, how many children. Even an ex-husband helped. The mother easily kills the daughter. Everything goes on as if nothing.”
“They used to say women of Assam could make men like sheep. That talk used to go around a lot once. A psychologist rightly said, they had family but they did not have family bonding. Bonding is very necessary.”
Rocky’s Favorite Things
“What did Rocky like to eat?”
“We ate what we ate. In the morning hot roti, milk. He’d lick the face first and eat. Then roti soaked in milk. At noon rice, fish curry, if there was meat then that. When we sat down to eat he would sit under the dining table. He wouldn’t say anything. Your Dadu would arrange a plate with pieces of fish, curry, fry and put it under the basin — then he’d slowly go up there. In the evening he’d also want a snack, tea or coffee. At dinner also our food. He didn’t want to be alone. Wherever we were, he would go there and sometimes sit under my foot, sometimes under your Dadu’s foot. Sometimes he’d come to the lap and rub against our bodies, our faces. He’d push his neck forward. He must be scratched. He’d wag his ears. If you rubbed his ears he’d be very happy. When he was small in Shilchar in the quarter’s green lawn he played ball a lot. He missed that in the flat. If there was an open space below we’d take him certain days. He liked cleanliness very much. On return he’d lift up his feet in the washroom. If you cleaned and wiped his feet with his towel then he’d go into the room. Pee once, urine twice a day. Even then he’d rub his body against us and call us. If someone outside rang the calling bell he’d shout. When you let him into the house and he would come, the smell would fade away. If he smelled something familiar he’d obediently come and sit in the room. If unfamiliar, he’d go once to us, once to that unfamiliar guest, to and fro. Only if we said so would he calm down. Meye jamai liked the grandson very much. They showed affection a lot. Met now and then. Still. At the end he loved rosogolla very much. While he slept and snored, I was frying eggplant. He came sniffing to the kitchen. You said, Mashi will Skype today. Remember. Will you teach me a bit?”
A Proposal for Companionship
“I will. With whom will you Skype? Do you have a boyfriend? A laptop?”
“Pah. A poor girl like me has those things? Tell about Rocky’s last days a bit.”
“Mother, why are they showing you so disturbed? Is your health bad? Hey, listen… look how Mother seems.”
“No, child, ‘my mind is bad. Very bad.’ …”
“Have you been affected, Ma? How is Rocky today?”
“If you catch it by the face picture then you’d know, Run. Yes, you caught it right. … Rocky is in a very bad stage. The doctor said he went in the afternoon. No shock.”
“Ma, if Rocky goes you are now free. You can come here and roam. The journey’s fatigue won’t befall. So we have arranged a granddaughter for you. She will meet you tomorrow. We expect you will like her. At my early-stage issues that age bracket that would stand my daughter, exactly that age girl. Knows education. Like the girl from the house next door. A little cooking, tidying the house, some singing, very caring. Has middle-class values too. The name is a little funny. Her mother used to teach dance once. The daughter’s name, well, Tha—”
Fear and Caution
“I don’t understand anything. I’m a bit depressed. Okay. Even if Rocky goes there is CCTV. You installed it last time, remember?”
“Ma, what you need right now at this moment is the company of some related person… Rocky was not just a watch dog. He accompanied you like a person. Isn’t that so? We feel very guilty. Even your granddaughter says that. How far we are fallen. What can we do for you. Depression is a silent killer.”
“The girl is well aware in behavioral science. She’ll handle things properly. I’ve seen her biodata.”
“Where? I don’t understand anything. Is the girl coming from New Jersey? How did you get to know her?”
“Oh Ma, you don’t know, in Kolkata now there are quite a few agencies. They provide company to lonely elderly. They build relationships. Live mixed like family. Isn’t there a saying? Affection flows downward. From that point they mix. You must pay the agency for that. They at month’s end cut commission and give the pay packet. Here many of our Bengalis have kept them in this way for looking after their parents. Go a bit to that house. I’ll clarify the matter with Mother.”
Thatai Arrives
“Isn’t she? I won’t fall into any cheater’s hands, will I? You clear it properly. I’m scared. In the end will I be killed — will I see the coming winter? Rini…”
“Yes. Yes. The paper goes to your place — leading Bengali news — so they print advertisements. At first were friend and girlfriend advertisements. High profile big house girls offering friendship. Along with it lots of earning. Then vulgar pictures. Bold relations. Heavy income. Massage parlour — whole body. Women, men. Men, women. Now again from eighteen onwards. Sex partner. Keep your sex life right. Big ads. Contact numbers. Many. Is your fear from looking at those advertisements?”
“Yes. That too. In the paper we also read these things — alone elderly being killed and jewelry taken and run away, etc.”
“No fear. They don’t advertise in the paper for that. There are websites. Mainly N-R-E Bengali [i.e., expatriate] contacts keep connections with domestic helpers in various ways. Run’s acquaintances inform her. They are satisfied. Run has talked with several agencies. Saw biodatas. Photos. They’ve also verified. You know, Run is very picky in some matters. Then she said yes. She also checked in her Manhattan friend circle. In Kuwait. Singapore. The Bong connections spread. Durga Puja, because of Bengali culture our expatriate life is now parallel to Kolkata. Only crab-fishing is missing. … Look at the girl’s photo here. Tha-tai Dasgupta. Good. 21C Northern Avenue. Girl from Paikpara. North Kolkata cultural environment is quite good. Conservative. Also modern. Narrow lanes. If you lift your face, you see the sky. You’ll find her in Wave Lens too.”
“How much will it cost?”
“Don’t worry. Those matters are mine. You made your daughter self-reliant. This is her chapter. Listen, I’m giving the agency’s name address contact number — if any inconvenience you will phone me immediately. I won’t sit for my Skype waiting. I see the laptop is running fine. Now quickly write down —”
A New Beginning
“Thatai, wait, you brought again.”
“Yes, I brought. We lunch here at noon. I brought my favorite things, cook them myself, let you just make toast.”
“What did you bring? Dried fish, lote, kachi”
“Chalta — is there?”
“Yes. Plus thanakuni. Look, how green it has become with monsoon water. There is kachu’s vine. Shrimp cut small — tell Assam-aunty to eat. For now keep in the freezer. Later I’ll bring the day’s list. Assam-aunty said she’ll make payesh generously.”
“Do it. I don’t feel like it. Then by train… doesn’t the public say anything? You stroll in those Asu Babu’s markets in that water-mud.”
“The trains are empty. On the train going to Shyaldaha the crowd comes. Office passengers. Asu Babu’s market is only a few grocery shops and fish-meat shops. The real market is on the footpath, that is, nearly from Sink Colony corner to Northern Avenue corner. What isn’t there! You know the prices have gone up. It eats away. No bargaining mothers and fathers. Forty rupees of goods end up at ten through bargaining. Tell me how to start this bargaining game?”
Bonding and Kindness
“You can do it. She knows songs, dances, GK on lip, understands literature, cinema-theatre. Also does footpath bargaining like poor people.”
“Grandma, I… I don’t cheat anyone. I brought down to the fair price. They laugh and finally pay. Same custom at Hatibagan footpath. We are Bengalis. Many have shown us in High Court. We are very poor. I understand the poor’s sorrow with my life.”
“Don’t cry. … What is happening, hey! This Tha—. Grandma can’t tease with the granddaughter? If you have sorrow, that is my sorrow too. Come, come closer…. Will you give one day’s chitol fish data to eat? Like ori’s greens. A bit slender, darker. And one day when chitol fish rises in Asu Babu’s market, bring a crate. I’ll make muithya. For you. Today when you go I’ll give you a thousand. I read in the paper it’s a thousand rupees a kilo. Bring five hundred and dress it.”
Life and Fear
“You know how hard I worked to finish Honors. Did B.Ed. Two hundred forty-five thousand teachers will be taken, hearing this story I ended up in this agency. What trouble to groom. After passing through all, not all people become equal… I haven’t seen anyone as true as you. I don’t like people playing relationships for money. But you know, when I step on Tala Park corner, or get off at Dumdum station, I feel a huge ‘haah’, a hideous tongue, teeth wanting to swallow me.”
“I know. Come, what beautiful eyes you have. Like pearls water drops are touching. Come, wipe them. Smile a little looking at me? Why not put a little kohl in your eyes. No. No, you won’t. You said, near Asu Babu’s market is Keya Sheth’s shop. Don’t their products have kohl? If not, try Lakme in Hatibagan. Put a little powder and a small bindi. What beautiful hair you have, how tidy. Small forehead, full lips, beautiful mouth, teeth. There is one big tooth too. Put a light cold cream on the lips. At night moisturize the hands. Beautiful small nose, ears. Wheat-colored beautiful skin. How tall are you? Five two? Fairish face. In front of the mirror in the morning say thrice, I am beautiful.”
Tender Moments
“Pah old woman. What’s happening… Ask Asha-Mashi to bring these. I will grind the thankuni in the mixer now. Slightly wet the mustard powder with a little mustard oil, salt and serve on hot rice, Grandma.”
“My mind is not settling right. I made you cry at seven in the morning. Since yesterday evening my mind has been bad.”
“Why? How are the Mashis? Rini?”
“Yesterday in Mandarmoni three young boys died in an accident. They were showing on TV. After you left I turned on the TV. The boys lived in different places. Suddenly together. Having fun at Mandarmoni. The sea had receded then. They were racing two cars. Accident. All three finished. In the night news I heard they had drunk. Plus they had taken ganja. My mind felt uneasy. Nowadays there are HD channels on TV. Serving channels I saw what miserable dancing and singing. This they call fun. In HD you can see up to the veins. With the body trembling what terrible fun. Without information and technology what does this twenty-first century give? Very frightening. I am afraid. Your Dadu truly survived. He could not have borne these.”
Loneliness and Memory
“How long after did I come to the roof. Ah. The real name of this place is Hridoypur. Now Kolkata seven lakh one hundred… I have dementia. I forget some things. Don’t remember. Yet thirty, fifty years ago, many things come to mind so easily. Whom shall I tell? Who will share returning to that time? Who? Maybe you will get a better job. Maybe you’ll marry. You’ll go away. There will be no one to talk to. How long is hope? She too will maybe go. I will remain. Alone. Medical science has increased people’s lifespan. But—”
The Evening Sky
“Don’t cry. … Come, let me wipe your tear. Wipe and put on the progressive lens glasses again. Look at the sky. Blue sky. Clouds like cotton. In a white sari red-yellow colours. Tomorrow will be sunny too. Look, the sun is setting. Tomorrow it will rise again. Again.”
“Look, there, Ta-thai, evening stars are peeking. Autumn air is blowing. It feels good… Thatai, at this moment, we are here. Under the huge sky. We are here. You, me. A little distance away my daughter, son-in-law, granddaughter. We are here. This is true. At this moment.”
