Meet Baxter—the Grand Dreamer
In the arid plains outside a tiny frontier town lived a solemn-but-humorous man named William “Baxter” Grant. He was famous for having bold ideas that never paid off, and Baxter was the rambunctious president of the Coyote Creek Social Club. One night, he proposed his biggest plan yet: a monumental landmark to compare with any found in the new American West— ”Baxter’s Monument.”
The Big Announcement
Baxter assembled his friends—Clay, Pete, Hank, and Buck—within the old saloon.
“Why should people go all the way to look at famous monuments back East when we can have our own right here?” he proclaimed.
The friends, half-teasing, half-curious, leaned in.
A Tower Built on Bamboo and…Cow Dung
Hank furrowed a brow. “Who’s paying for stone and bricks?”
Baxter waved a hand. “Don’t need ’em. We’ll build it frontier-style:
- Bamboo poles for the frame
- Cloth wrapped tightly
- A layer of straw and mud
- And a majestic topping of dried cow dung patterns!
“Ten stories high,” he boasted. (Clay grumbled that famous landmarks aren’t that tall anyway. Baxter gave him a quick glare.)
Work for the Crew
Baxter delegated tasks like a good “engineer”:
- Clay: gather up dried cow patties
- Pete: Bring in bamboo
- Hank: Collect cloth
- Buck: unearth clay
“And me?” Baxter said, stretching his boots onto the table. “I’ll draw up the master plan.”
Disaster Strikes
By sunrise, the crew had labored hard, setting bamboo poles and wrapping them in cloth. But that evening, a fierce prairie storm rolled in. Wind howled, the weak poles toppled, and the entire “Baxter’s Monument” crashed in a soggy heap—flattening a few nearby sheds.
Villagers rampaged after Baxter, who ran in the rain until—wham!—he crashed into a giant cottonwood tree and fell cold.
Hospital Havoc
Baxter came to in the town infirmary, groggy. “Who am I? Where am I?”
His friends told him about the chaos. When he learned he’d be out of action for a month, he fainted once more.
Later, a giant, angry man burst in claiming to be the Grim Reaper—and requesting $500 for broken bamboo and damages!
Friends in Flight
Creditor by creditor, they arrived. Buddy by buddy, Baxter’s friends slid out the door. Baxter alone, he yelled, “You no-good varmints! I hereby suspend you all for five hundred—no, five billion—years!” Then he sighed and went back to sleep.
A Slice of Frontier Comedy
This Western tall tale demonstrates that lofty ambitions require stronger designs. Baxter’s gargantuan “Monument” illustrates how unbridled ambition—and a tad too much hubris—can blow away quicker than a prairie gale.
